2010

I drove through rain and thunderstorms, huge puddles and giant chains of traffic to organise some stuff for Primal tonight. Zeus was pretty hacked with something. It was unbearably humid and I was starving.

I'd had a big lunch; oats with currents, banana and honey on top. Between then and now (5:30) my stomach was begging for food. It's been a while since I was this hungry. I am kind of shaky and highly irritable. Any small chore requires a mountain of self control to avoid me snapping.

I hope Dad is cooking something good. After running around for four hours picking heaps of random stuff up, getting keys and dropping stuff off, Carey and I decided to grab some food for Parachute - the music concert I'm going to over the weekend.

We could only take stuff that will stand the heat. It's mainly bread, UHT Milk, nutra-grain (to retain a semblance of reality,) and canned stuff. I don't mind it being plain, as long as there is heaps of it.

We were just about finished, when my mum text me to go pick something up from the tailor she'd left there since Monday. That meant I needed cash to pay him. I forgot to get cash out from the supermarket, so had to go to the bank to get more. In the end, I think it will prove a profitable little walk, since my mother's guilt will form perfect leverage for repayment of our shopping.

More chores are calling, and I'm biting my lip. Zeus has chilled out a bit but it's still humid as.

I woke up at 6:30 in the morning with incredible pain through my lower stomach. I just writhed around for a little bit till it went away and fell back to sleep.

I didn't think much of it. I went for my morning jog. I made especially good time and had plenty of energy. I arrived at the gym perfectly fine, just a little past 8:00. Gradually though, I felt a huge cramp coming on. I quickly checked the calendar on my phone - it can't have been my period (lolol.)

I thought it was a stitch at first, but it got worse. At around 9:30 it got really bad. I went outside for some fresh air a couple of times and returned. I just pulled myself up after some tricep dips and it felt as though my lower stomach was bloated and I felt a warm sensation on the lower part of my stomach, just above my left hip.

I was in the sort of pain where you know something is really wrong. I tried to do a few more sets but it was so painful I had to stop. I only had 15 minutes left but decided I ought to get it checked out after chatting to a personal trainer.

I tried running home but felt screaming pain. I was thinking that my appendix was going haywire and I knew that if that were the case, you needed attention pretty urgently. I walked briskly and ran the last half kilometre home.

I quickly showered. I went on webmd.com and did some quick research on appendicitis; phrases like 'trust your instincts' made me pretty sure I was doing the right thing. I phoned the doctors and talked with a nurse. I told her about the pain, bloating and warm sensations. She replied briskly 'Come and see your doctor.'

The doctor later informed me she wasn't sure exactly what caused it, but was fairly sure it wasn't my appendix. She suspects it was a '24 hour' bug - which there are supposed to be a lot of around. I didn't vomit or 'anything' (lol.) The pain had largely subsided by then and I am happy to report I'm still in good health.

It was a very unusual morning.

Great afternoon laxing.

Just got back from the beach. It's been a fantastic day just chilling with Nick, Sam, Caleb and Carey. I fell asleep for ages on the beach which was great. Now I’m waiting for Carey to get out of the shower.

Went for a quick swim; now my hair has that awesome beach feeling. I won't wash it for a couple days just to relish in it. As soon as I got home, I started on a snacking rampage; had a bunch of nuts, currents and some fruit. Dad is cooking dinner, which I won't eat - maybe only a chicken leg; we are going to dinner tonight for $10 steaks, around 200g, with awesomesauce (actually), fries and two eggs. The greatest $10 meal around man.

Not sure what's planned tomorrow, I am still trying to get the weekend off work so I can go to Parachute.

Lastly, I want to know how you feel when you watch this video. I found myself torn between two reactions; they are disabled - so we ought to pity them, they don't deserve it and they are just like jackass, trying to do stupid stunts, they deserve it. Enjoy the emotional ping pong!


Guy in Wheelchair Vs. Escalator - Watch more Funny Videos

Most of my week has been taken up snoozing and gyming. I've been super bored.

I worked on Saturday and it was a non-event. I screwed up one hundred drop cards with 'ave' instead of 'road,' which I had to reprint. That's the highlight of my working day. Had a great night out though. The weather cleared up to a crisp summer evening. Swings and roundabouts!

Had a good sleep in and rest today. I'm deciding whether I should go to Parachute, I can get a free ticket. I'll see what's happening with everyone else and decide!

I'm desperate to start university, I realise how much I love it now. All the old buildings and trees; the crumbling pathways and piles of work. I just want to go back.

It will be one extreme of boredom to the other of stress. Swings and roundabouts!

I hope today isn't the beginning of summer's wane.

Last night, I'd spent much of the evening moping around the house and hopelessly checking my emails for something interesting. I was floating around the house topless (zomg); id been peeling recently and the weather was sticky.

My partners were watching a boring cliché, it didn't appear my friends were going to be doing anything and I had nothing to do. I had spent the last hour or so reading a barbaric article that was linked in the Club Physical newsletter and writing a response. The author's name is Jim Rutz.

Essentially, he maintains that consuming soy products will make you gay. He uses terms like

'No, homosexuality is always deviant,'
'My larger concern is that the increasing number of less robust 15-year-olds who are already "struggling with their sexual identity" will be shoved over that thin line into homosexuality. No, they won’t wake up some morning with floppy wrists and a nasal lisp...'
'The tragic result can be undescended testicles, hypospadias or even homosexuality.'

I was really angry that my fees went towards the distribution of such bigoted material. I wrote a several page email which analysed the guy's terrible 'article.' He had no references what-so-ever. He has no formal qualifications, is not a relevant authority, has no peer review of his work, has a poor understanding of how academic writing ought to be conducted and uses a facade of academia to further his anti-gay tirade.

Without going on too much of a tangent, I am a Christian and thought that Jesus wanted us to love other people. You know, like, accept them for who they are. He spent most of his time with the 'sinners,' while it was the self righteous Pharisees that he condemned. It's the peak of hypocrisy to tell someone they ought to live their life a different way. Jesus told us to remove the plank from our own eye before trying to remove the speak from our brothers/sisters.

After sending off that email, Hannah hosted drinks, which we got to at around 10 o'clock. We took Rachel and Nick and we played a few rounds of circle of death. The windows and doors were open which granted a reprieve from the awful humidity of the day. Nick lost the first round and had to drink a a mug with the mixture of everyone’s' drinks; including his Baileys/milk concoction which had curdled by then. I don't drink (it just isn't my buzz), but I still had a great time.

I got up this morning and it was similarly warm. My run was peculiar; it felt as though it ought to be cold like winter. The clouds were thick and rolling, the breeze relatively still. The weather, true to Auckland, was pleasantly sticky.

I spent a couple of hours at the gym and returned home. I watched SiCKO by Michael Moore for a lot of the day and found it great. It gives you a bit of perspective on the current debate over America's healthcare reform.

I lay on my bed and listened to music for the last couple of hours, while drifting in and out of sleep. I'm getting ready for Primal tonight; the first of the year.

Looking forward to it and the weekend - let's hope for some more summery weather.

I held a shell up to the sky and watched the clouds pass over head. The sun was trying to squeeze around the edges and through the pores. Life is simple looking at the sky; blue, white and yellow. At the beach, everything moves slowly; the clouds drift along, the little waves peel in and tiny sparrows glide along.

Ordinary life simply cannot survive the gauntlet. The sand forms a natural anathema; a barricade against the nagging onslaught of reality. It gently ebbs away the taxing headlands; assignments, chores; raging traffic and swearing motorists; bus tickets, forms signed and class changes. The great crags of the year are brought to dust as the tide comes in to save me.

I get to sit there, doing nothing and stare at a shell, for hours on end. The sun shines through with purgative rays. It is simply, the best.

If you've read the papers at all, you will see the interest gathering around a $15 minimum wage.

John key said on Newstalk ZB that:

...there's got to be a recognition that where there are increases in wages that they have to be paid for - we don't want to be threatening people's jobs so there's a balancing act here and that's what the Cabinet will consider," Herald

I am supportive of the current National government for their shift towards a more conservative orientated party. I still wouldn't vote for them; but they appear to have a conscience. They genuinely do seem to take a more egalitarian approach than previous National governments.

However, I still reject the idea that a $15 wage is unworkable. In America, 1% of the population controls 80% of the wealth and I would suspect that a reasonably similar distribution of wealth occurs in New Zealand. The majority of people in New Zealand work under a wealthy business which has accumulated far disproportionate wealth than what is fair.

The greatest tragedy of our society, as I notice every day walking to university, is that we have built towers that can scrape the sky, but are unable to house the homeless at the foot of them. We have thrown out the baby with the bathwater as far as social justice is concerned; we have rejected our tribal egalitarianism along with the social structure that 'democracy' replaced.

The result is that corporations by and large, do not care about the environment they are destroying, or the employees who build their wealth. They have forgotten the spiritual lessons of their forefathers; forsaking their neighbour to squeeze every cent out of her.

The attitude by many corporates is that anyone can succeed; they must just work. That simply cannot be the case. So long as the poverty cycle is perpetuated by lucrative housing markets, high living costs and a low minimum wage, we will never be able to see a world where each person is guaranteed a good standard of living.

After all, if every could achieve the heights of the financial elite, just who would they exploit to remain there?

Your neighbour deserves far more than $12.50 an hour. $15 an hour will not destroy the economy. They will not loose their jobs. It will simply mean that the financial giants will have to show some compassion for the workers who build their empires.

I grabbed the large container with nutra-grain. I popped it open and spilled out a healthy portion into my bowl. With slight fear, I recoiled from the fruit bowl. I couldn't see any bananas. I dug around and found a few, with relief I pulled one separate and began to peel the skin. I sliced it up and poured milk over my small creation. I have the same breakfast almost every day. When I run out of nutra-grain I have oats instead. Lots of protein, om nom nom.

I carried my breakfast outside and sat on the deck. I was wearing my jean cut offs that I had the tailor make. They were an old pair of skinny jeans that I got her to cut down to shorts. It's an awesome way to make excellent cut offs that look unique. You can see them here:



Jean shorts are pretty standard as far as summer attire goes, and it's a great way to recycle old jeans. They look fitted and a bit classier (if I may say so.) All for twenty bucks!

It was fairly cloudy, but a great morning. I watched some rowers training on a full tide. There was almost no noise and it was really still. A few birds were singing. A pretty relaxing morning for sure :)

Last night I went to Jason's for a little shin dig. I met a bunch of his friends who were really great; we had to leave early because we were double booked. I dropped Carey and Nick at Hannah's. It was drinks, which I'm not huge on, so I went home after that.

I spent most of today reading.

It's been pretty chill. I'm off to Waiheke or the beach (depending on if we can get work off together) tomorrow with the gang which will be a bit of fun!

(Please excuse the break from journal style.)

I just read an article that really got me going;

'After a 20-hour journey to New Delhi, Shubhneet Kaur, a New Zealand citizen from Manukau, and her son, Bachint Vir Singh, were turned back to New Zealand despite holding valid tourist visas for India. They pair arrived back in Auckland three days after their Monday evening departure - only to face a Customs interrogation about why they were on India's list of possible terrorists.' Herald

What sort of country are we becoming? Shubhneet and her two year old son are New Zealand citizens and have been since 2003. They have lived here for twelve years. They have every ounce of equality granted under New Zealand law as anybody else. That includes the right to freedom of movement and departure from New Zealand guaranteed under the NZBOR 1990. End of story.

The detention and questioning of New Zealand citizens for four hours is an affront to human rights. The article goes on to say that:

'...a Customs spokesman said the Auckland delay had been caused by several factors including language issues, changing of shifts for officers and delays in checks and processing.'

That simply is not acceptable. As New Zealand citizens, having been turned away from India for being on a 'terrorist blacklist' (which Mr Chris Carter believes to be a typo), our government has a duty to protect the rights and integrity of those citizens. That means, even being guilty, that our government would take thorough steps to ensure that all information is accurate and relevant procedure followed.

This cannot have been the case. They were detained for four hours - excessive and draconian given the evidence. The child was detained with the mother for the entire duration. Customs had no evidence that they should be detained - other than a faulty document. If you have lists of suspected terrorists, don't you think it might be a good idea to have them matching!? This isn't a Cleo quiz.

Shift changes are completely inadequate in justifying the length of that detention - they are seriously impeding on human rights just so Diane can go and grab a coffee? That's pathetic. The New Zealand government failed to take reasonable steps to protect the rights granted to its citizens. If you are going to detain someone, make sure you have proper grounds to do so. They look kind of Arab, and they are on a 'blacklist' - obviously they are a terrorist! Our government had no business preventing a two year old child and his mother from entering our country. The onus is not upon the mother and child to prove they are not terrorists; our government should have established that information before they were granted visas.

So far as language concerns, that sounds pretty arbitrary. But hey, she's ethnic so it sounds plausible right? As for the two year old son, it wasn't what he said that incriminated him, it was what he didn't say. Language issues are naturally a problem when one of the accused is not old enough to speak! He is, however, certainly old enough to answer to the charge of terrorism. Of course, the husband who they prevented from helping would have been able to assist greatly in the matter;

'"If their names are really on India's watchlist, why did the Indian High Commission issue tourist visas for them to go to India? Wellington should have already picked that up if it was true."'

Way to go New Zealand. Let's hold New Zealand citizens in detention for four hours with the only evidence being a list we didn't copy/paste correctly. Meanwhile, we'll stuff them around with shift changes and luggage screw ups cause we don't think detaining someone on suspicion of being a terrorist is really that serious.

She and her family had travelled twenty hours from New Delhi to be with her sick mother and attend a wedding. She was tired and vulnerable and her country failed her. The woman was so shaken by the event she was unable to talk. That is the power that the state has. We have human rights for a reason; that is to protect every New Zealander of every nationality from the deprivation of human integrity. It's barbaric to treat people like this and our government shouldn't get away with it. Just who exactly is the terrorist?

Night swimming at a nudist beach. What'sss up. The walk was precarious; fitting of the delicate situation. A steep walk with every kind of ruse was designed to keep amateurs at bay - this was big boy's business. I walked past a sign that read 'If you encounter offensive behaviour, this is an issue for the police to deal with.' I think my canary down the mine just died.

The beach emerged suddenly. We stood on a rocky outcrop while the water swelled only metres away. It would be a fantastic place to jump in during the day time, if only the beach wasn't infested with middle aged slugs, in all their glory. I think it's worth noting that this beach was called 'Ladies Bay.' This is ironic, as almost all of the people who go are men; whether it's an attempt to allure women or a well known joke - as they are all completely aware that it's a sausage fest, who knows.

Unfortunately, I hadn't got the message in time to grab togs - and I wasn't about to expose myself in front of innocent church girls. I sat with a few others while Katrina, Ryan, Josh and Jason seized the day (or night.) The water was reportedly warm; I wouldn't know, I was too much of a sissy. I could have gone in my shorts, or underwear, but I didn't want to sit in the car wet while I drove home. I wish I'd swam.

But, I did get to enjoy a great view. The water seemed especially thick, as though it was lava pouring out of an unseen volcano. As my friends swam, they left luminous wakes which forced the water apart. The stars were especially bright, shining against bold silhouettes of the pohutukawa trees above us. There were high clouds, light and fluffy, moving quickly. Rangitoto reared in the distance, dwarfing the swimmers. It was a really great night.

Today, I've been bored as. All my friends went to the Big Day Out and I had to drop them off. I didn't really have the money to spend. Ryan and I got out a documentary called 'This Divided State.' It is definitely worth watching. Michael Moore is invited to speak at the Utah Valley State College, which is predominantly conservative and Republican. There is immense opposition. The efforts of some of the students is inspiring – they are told they have rejected their families, country and religion. Freedom of speech is foundational in the 21st century; it's guaranteed under the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the New Zealand Bill of Rights Act 1990, s2(14):

Everyone has the right to freedom of expression, including the freedom to seek, receive, and impart information and opinions of any kind in any form.

Just because we vehemently disagree with someone's opinion; we should never prevent them from expressing that view. No matter how abhorrent or extreme we find them, we must grant them that right. We may later find ourselves to be the ones who held the abhorrent or extreme position. (Think about how many New Zealanders defended the right to smack their children - didn't the nation later reject the right to discipline wives? [Under coverture, women held almost identical legal status as children do now.])

It doesn't matter if they are wrong; reason and intelligence will prevail. As the documentary opened with:

If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter. George Washington

It's a fascinating documentary - but more because of how accurately it reflects all societies rather than one.

Full credit to Bryn

Originally, I had planned to go to the beach; Sam suggested that we give blood. I was bored and had nothing else to do, so I decided that it would be both a good use of time and a clever disguise of philanthropy.

I was surprised how many people had showed up to be siphoned out. My first thought was that if I was in a crash, this group of people would be the last I'd want blood from. They were saggy and overweight. If kissing is deemed to be intimate by sharing saliva, I'd hate to think of the degree of intimacy when blood is involved with these perishing donors. I quickly revised the illustration I'd conducted in my head; these weren't cows being milked, they were month old balloons feeling the prodding of a small child as they weakly deflated.

We had to fill out a bunch of questions; mostly to do with our promiscuity. I thought of an interesting test for the nurses; to dress flagrantly gay, take a small animal in a handbag, adopt a 'gay' voice and maintain your chastity. I thought it was quite blunt discrimination. After all, New Zealand women were recently found to be the most promiscuous in the world. Even if homosexuals have higher rates of HIV, it seems disproportionate that there wasn't a single question about any other sexual activity - I could be a slapper and they could care less.

After a brief iron test and another round of questions; 'Now, questions 1-10 concerning homosexual activity, could that possibly involve you?' I was set to go. We sat and waited while people in the centre of the room were siphoned off. Sam and I went in a pair ('Good luck babe xoxo.') The nurse jabbed me in the arm with a tube and the blood started trickling down. I sat there thinking how easily someone could bleed to death - I gave 450ml in 3 or 4 minutes and didn't feel anything. Carey took over 11 minutes and his flow stopped occasionally, he had numerous pains and the nurses were really quite worried (please don't file a suit.)

I'm off to Ryan Drew's tonight for a BBQ and some sweet hangouts. Should be some fun!
By the way, check out this sweet video that Nick sent me:

Cool song and great video. Summer anthem for sure. They have an album coming out early 2010 which should be great. Took me ages to find it after seeing it on TV and forgetting.

I was pleased to smell another kitchen triumph. As I entered the room, I had the unusual experience of smelling the icing on a cake before the cake itself. The large cake sagged under the pressure of so much icing and the entire dish was similarly drenched with gooey goodness. I think the cake was slowly sliding, as if by continental drift.

Stephanie grabbed a knife and sunk it in; the blade was wholly consumed. As she brought the blade upwards, the icing clung to the top of the knife, creating a sugary tent. We gave little squeals of anticipation as she began butchering her voluptuous creation.

I hadn't eaten a really good meal in a while. My parents are away, which means we have to sort meals ourselves. So far, I'd had oats and banana for breakfast, rice with salsa for lunch and weetbix for tea. Obviously, a good spot of home baking would go down well.

I had missed the lasagne (pronounced la-zah-ng lol) that she'd cooked for tea as I went to church. I arrived in time for the cake though, so all was good. My first piece was fantastic, my second; slightly uncooked near the centre. I felt a little sick, since I couldn't avoid the temptation of unbaked goods.

We tried to resume a board game, but no one was really into it. We submitted to our lethargy and watched TV. I found a quiet corner and started to fall asleep. We went home around 12, I was pretty knackered.

The night before we'd had people over. I had worked all day and my parents had woken me early as they left for their holiday. I got to bed at 2, then was woken at 9 by a text from my mum asking 'are you awake?' Well yes, I am now.



I think I might go to sleep for a bit. I've been super tired lately, I think puberty is still having its way with me.

Each scrape felt like murder. It was, in a way. The merry colours of Christmas blurred together in gaudy streaks as they cascaded down the glass. The happiness of Christmas day now a dying memory.

I was slowly etching Christmas off the windows; large ribbons and baubles ran into streams of colour as I sweated away. Being a receptionist, my clothing probably made me the best dressed window cleaner for miles around. I always find people dressed inappropriately to be hilarious. I'd joined the ranks of girls who dress up for town in their nicest clothes and shoes, spend hours putting on make up and jewellery to later cling desperately to taxi door, with shaking legs, as they empty their bladder and stomach simultaneously. The visual paradox is great.

I paused by the bottom of one of the windows; a thick jelly had frozen on the glass, shells of the once soaring egg now suspended for me to clean off.

My brother, meanwhile, had text me to find a new ride home. He'd decided to go to Piha for the beach party and bands. Despite having 5 cars at home between the 3 of us, it still was too much to ask to be able to have a lift. I had practically resigned myself to walking home in the sweltering heat, enjoying the prickly sweat you get when you wear long pants and looking suspiciously religious in my dress shirt with a backpack on.

Then Nick saved my day. It's little wonder that he was dressed as superman on facebook. He is arriving in 10 minutes to deliver me from this decaying boredom. I think something fun will be on tonight; whatever it is, it beats work. I may have murdered Christmas today, but at least boredom went with it.

I'd never been to East Auckland, so last night was something new. My first thought was that any future girlfriend(s)(?) could not live this far away. Being male, the expectation would be for me to drive, and an hour round trip is excessive - sorry but love should have reasonable limits, like gas mileage.

I'd spent much of the day lazing around, reading on the deck. The sun kept bobbing between the clouds, mocking my effort in sun blocking myself. I'd snoozed in the afternoon. The long journey to East Auckland seemed an abrupt break from my day.

As we pulled up to the park, I saw a bunch of familiar faces. We'd arrived at Primal Sausage fest. It was a pretty chilled out vibe.

The sun was beginning to go down and the hills behind us began to cast long shadows. I didn't want to get cold, so I organised a game of basketball. I'd played basketball in high school and still hear my African-American coach yelling in my ear - 'Left hand, left side Sizer!' I desperately wanted to take my shirt off to cool down as sweat glide down my face. I also didn't want to look like a hussy, so I opted just to sweat it out. I enjoyed the fitness and sensation of my heart demanding oxygen.

I got home and read some more of Luke. I was pretty exhausted after the basketball and fell to sleep quickly. I woke early in the morning, feeling fully rested and ready to go. I threw on my track pants and a singlet and jogged up the road to the gym. The steep incline was destroying me. I smiled though, at the thought of conquering the urge to stop.

The gym was sweltering hot, even at 7.45. All the weights seemed so much heavier and I went through four bottles of water trying to keep my temperature down. I met an old guy called Vinu this morning, 77 years old and still pumping iron. I'd heard about him but never met him. He grinned as he explained his routine and longevity, and I had the distinct impression that this was a pitch he'd shared a million times before. He deserved a bit of showing off though, he looked to be only 60, with a massive chest and bulging arms and almost completely smooth skin. In his finale, he held onto a bench, having only the top of his shoulders and head resting, while the rest of his body was completely suspended in mid air. He curled his legs back toward his head - astonishing core strength for such an old man.

Here's a video of me pumping iron at the gym:

(Just jokes)

I'm unsure what I'll get up to today. It's a little overcast, which is disappointing. Ka kite!

I lay on the beach in a welcome delirium. I love sleeping in the sun and would do it forever if the moon would stop raining on my parade. The sun was so warm and cuddly, I didn't want to move in case it broke the spell. I was feeling as though sun stroke was an option; to be honest it seemed really attractive. Why move yourself and break the moment?

Reluctantly, I pulled my bottle out of my bag and took a large gulp of water. I smirked as I thought of Carey and I recollecting our new years. He had told me that he hadn't drunk much over new years, which surprised him. I told him that I had, since I didn't want to get dehydrated. Naivety is a beautiful thing.

All around our towels were little families with little children. They squealed in the shallows as miniature waves rolled in.

We were at Cheltenham, one of my favourite beaches. Our year 13 farewell dinner had been hosted there and I'd spent countless hours sunbathing with friends. One of the greatest fish and chips shops is really close by. Today was another proud feather in Mr. Cheltenham's hat.

In the end, it was only Nick, Carey and myself who could make it - a bonafide sausage fest. That didn't matter though, it increased our sense of bachelorhood. This was ironic, as Carey swore a likeness of the girl who contacted him at the airport.

I found myself thinking of the music video I'd seen last night. I can't remember any lyrics, the name or band but the love story is simple and alluring. Two teenagers kayak to an island and lie in the sun on an empty beach. I'm not sure exactly what paradise is like, but I have to say these occasions get pretty close.

Still doughy headed, I lunged towards the shallows to shake my fuzzy head. The water was crisp and sobering. A swelling tide made for great swimming. I didn't stay in long but cherished the swim all the same.

As the car soared home and lax summer music played, I was pleased that my summer days were being used well. Sometimes, I hope that eternity can be spent lying on a beach.

I spent much of yesterday just chilling in the sun. The weather was so so, but I enjoyed snoozing all the same.

Avatar the night before had been great even though I'd seen it before. It seems that big budget, 3D films is the only way that the film industry can survive, there isn't any comparison to be made with watching it on your computer.

We went out last night to mission bay for Hailey's birthday. Sam, Carey and myself decided to opt for burger fuel, while the others stayed true to Burger King. I once again went for a delicious L&P in a glass bottle - the vintage is half of the taste. My burger was chicken, with avocado and all sorts of succulent sauces.

We sat on the beach wall as the sun set to our backs. All in a line, we savoured our tea. I was so laxed, if a little cold for my fashionably thin shirt. The burger completely delivered and we laughed and shivered as the sun went down and the cool breeze greeted us. Hailey had a beautiful little box with all sorts of goodies for her birthday; we'd tried to hide it but I'm sure she saw it.

We returned to Stef's house for a few rounds of Pictionary - how I love unadulterated R16 fun! I wasn't really in the mood but I enjoyed watching it. My team lost both rounds, probably due to my apathy. I was just pretty relaxed and enjoyed being with everyone.

I watched a really cool music video during one of the games, if Sam texts me back, I'll post it here.

We went home at around 1 and I went to bed exhausted. I read a few scriptures then went out cold.

Today's a beautiful day so I'm planning something for the beach.

I woke up this morning feeling the year beginning to dawn. Today was my second day back after new years, and a Monday, so being true to habit, I decided to go to the gym.

I pulled the curtain back and looked out the window; it was dreary. I hoped it wasn't a foreshadowing of the year. I slipped out of bed and threw my track pants on. They were one of the few items of clothes that hadn't gone through the wash. I grabbed my keys, a towel, filled my water bottle and rushed out the door.

I had gone from a new years full of excitement, friends and amazing weather, to a morning of solitude, the grind of commitment and a clogged sky. I arrived at the gym to find it packed. I walked through and found all the benches taken, machines full and people drifting everywhere. I stood there contemplating whether I should just return home and forfeit the gym for the day or man up.

I smiled as I thought about new years; I wondered how many people represented a resolution of some kind. Hopefully, a lot of them. That would mean that my 8 o'clock routine wouldn't need adjusting and I could have my gym back once the inevitable loss of motivation occured. I chose to stay.

I got home and just chilled for the day. I ate up the last of the Christmas chocolate and messed around on Facebook. Tyra had an intellectually numbing episode which featured 'Mothers' boys.' Nick shot me a text wanting to see Avatar, I'd seen it but it was amazing and I agreed to see it again. We're going to go at 9.05 and I can't wait!

I want to squeeze the most out of every day - 2009 felt like an empty custard carton that wickedly hid its scrumptious contents from a prying child. So as much as I can, I'm going to try and seize the day. I want to include as many people as possible in my life and try show love for them all.

Far greater than making a commitment to fitness this year, like so many of the people this morning, my number one commitment will be love.

Today, we said good bye to Ryan as he flew back to America. We'd woke early to make sure we wouldn't miss his flight and arrived at the airport with time to spare. We decided to wander around the limited food court and look for a drink; sure enough, we found comfort in the familiar golden arches.

I wandered back from the counter cherishing my kaleidoscopic happy meal cup - since adults aren't supposed to drink a 'small,' and certainly aren't to have fun, and we sat down. I had ordered an L&P which I've become particularly attached to recently. Coke is very sweet once you chill out on it - L&P is perfectly crisp. As I sucked the little childrens' cup dry, I was surprised as a little boy approached us. Initially I thought it was Ryan's host brother, who I hadn't met. However, he carefully placed a small business card on the table between Carey and I.

I didn't really look much at him; I wondered what the card was. He told Carey that his sister wanted him to ring her, leaving the card with her name and number on it. He asked where we were from then disappeared. Carey tried to look unfazed and continue talking, but it was clear his mind was reeling and he was clearly flattered. After a long, open-mouthed pause, he continued our conversation.

I found it all pretty brave. It's not often you hear of people asking for numbers of complete strangers - at least, at airports and in real life. I imagine that she watched charily from a distance, feeling vulnerable as the rest of her family gauged his reception. More than that, the anticipation of the phone call, or text, would be long and agonising with thoughts of rejection. Bonus points to her.

As soon as this stranger had started to make in roads into our lives, a friend began to make tracks to leave. Ryan arrived at the airport just as the excitement was dying down; we rushed down to meet him. We gave him a couple of small gifts; some jandals and a small silver necklace with New Zealand punched out of a dog tag. His flight was some three hours away, but it was much closer to a single breath of a very long sleep. We grabbed lunch and chatted away. Sure enough, he left through the departure gate and we waved good bye. I wondered if I would see him again.

Later that night at church, I was talking to a friend. A few weeks ago, he really had wanted to get to know a girl he had met at university. He had persistently tried to get in contact with her, but for whatever reason; whether or not she had rejected him, was too busy or the messages never got through, she hadn't responded. Understandably, he was a little sad about the whole thing.

But I don't think he should be. I think, in light of the day's events, it is definitely better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Despite fear of losing a good friend, a prospective boy friend at the airport or a girl you know at university, it's better to have embraced the opportunity than to opt for a dull and unemotional journey through life.

I woke up early this morning after nearly a week of doing so at camp. At around 7 o'clock was the best time to shower; there was always plenty of hot water and the showers had lots of pressure. I made it my daily routine to carefully get up, trying not to wake Ryan, throw my cut-offs on and tramp across the dewy grass as I held my shampoo, conditioner, towel and underwear in a small pile.

I returned last night at around 10 o'clock; I had organised the bus and we dropped Ryan at his host parents who have moved to Omaha. I found a note left by my mum with plenty of 'xoxo' scribbled on it. They had fallen asleep after a few late nights, which left me creeping around the house as I tried to unpack.

As I went through my bag, my clothes were covered with subtle reminders of how awesome camp was. My jeans were washed brown, my jandals covered in dust and my bible had sand in the pages.

It had been one of the best new years for me yet. New Years eve had an awesome cover band with Dean Rush and Brendan Hall; the entire tent was moshing. I saw fear in the eyes of a few very small girls as the crowd was surging. It was so great.

I also made new friends and caught up with old ones. There isn't anything better really. I thought pretty hard about this when I saw a boyfriend with his head in his hands, slumped over, while his girlfriend patted his back. She lives overseas and he wont see her for a few months. It's pretty important that we value people and try make the most of the time we have with them - so thanks to all my friends.

This morning, I'm preparing to go to the airport and farewell a really good friend; Ryan Chapman. We tented together and he often sun blocked my back. I started to ask him to do it more and more often as I realised how much it seared him. 'This doesn't make you gay Ryan,' I would often assure him. He only ever laughed lightly in reply.

Our New Years was spent sunbathing on the pure, white sand of Cooks Beach, as we watched King of the Ring competitions, wakeboarding and volley ball. The weather was absolutely fantastic and I lay on the sand wishing that Getaway wouldn't end. He is returning to America today, his plane leaves sometime around 3 o'clock. It's pretty sad that he is going, but I'm sure that I'll see him again some time.

I just had such an awesome time over New Years and I only hope that it carries through into the year. I thought how much I loved the simplicity of a life lived for others last night, as we tried to take a perfect final photograph on the way home from camp. We stopped in the Redwood forest, where the tree restaurant is and jumped up and down; trying to suspend ourselves midair as the camera perched on the car. We noticed that we kept appearing to have just landed; we began jumping later and the problem got worse. In response, we counted more seconds after the timer flashes and all still appeared on the ground. We creased our brows in concern, until Ryan remarked with Confucian insight, 'If we haven't jumped yet, we need to jump.' We laughed so hard at our own stupidity. I hope the rest of the year is as fun and that I can meet many more great friends.